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The Assertiveness Guide for Women: How to Communicate Your Needs, Set Healthy Boundaries, and Transform Your Relationships, by Julie de Az
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Isn’t it time you took a stand? Many women struggle with assertiveness, but if you’re prone to anxiety and avoidance, it is especially difficult. Grounded in attachment theory, this essential guide will help you identify your thoughts and feelings, balance your emotions, communicate your needs, and set healthy boundaries to improve your life.
When you’re assertive, you’re able to communicate your needs and wishes clearly while respecting yourself and anyone else involved in the interaction. But when you aren’t assertive, you may stop yourself from saying anything when your needs aren’t being met, or end up lashing out in hostile or hurtful ways. People with different attachment styles struggle with being assertive for different reasons, and even women with a secure attachment style may have difficulty expressing emotion when faced with challenging circumstances.
Using strategies based in mindfulness, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), The Assertiveness Guide for Women can help you understand the attachment styles that keep you from asserting yourself. You’ll learn about the three communication stances—from the passive Doormat to the aggressive (or passive-aggressive) Sword to the assertive Lantern—and find practical examples that show you how to apply your new communication and emotional awareness skills in your own life. Rather than being caught in a cycle of rumination and regret when you’re unable to express yourself or even acknowledge your own needs, you’ll be ready to assert yourself and get what you want.
Whether you’re anxious and overwhelmed by the intensity of your emotions, avoidant and struggle to identify your emotions, or otherwise have difficulty expressing yourself, this book will help you become more aware of your own thoughts and feelings, and empower you to ask for what you need, set boundaries, and speak your truth for a more fulfilling life.
- Sales Rank: #76458 in Books
- Published on: 2016-08-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.90" h x .60" w x 5.90" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 224 pages
Review
“Julie de Azevedo Hanks has provided women with a much-needed and long-awaited resource for self-expression. Her compassionate and informative voice gently guides readers through potential obstacles with hands-on strategies, which are validating and empowering. The Assertiveness Guide for Women is a must-read for anyone seeking the support and tools essential for honest and healthy communication.”
—Karen Kleiman, MSW, founder of The Postpartum Stress Center, and author of several books on postpartum depression, including Therapy and the Postpartum Woman
“The Assertiveness Guide for Women offers the skills you need to change and empower your life—including strengthening valuable relationships! Julie de Azevedo Hanks’ down-to-earth, warm style invites you in and shows you you’re not alone, as she provides a foundation of emotional awareness, understanding, and confidence to enable you to express your truest self. A powerful tool for women of all ages and stages, this book can, and if followed, will change you for the best!”
—Christina G. Hibbert, PsyD, author of This is How We Grow, Who Am I Without You?, and 8 Keys to Mental Health Through Exercise
“So many of us have experiences of silencing ourselves—sometimes for years and years. The Assertiveness Guide for Women is a powerful book packed with practical, thoughtful suggestions and poignant real-life examples to help us speak up, effectively express ourselves, and set strong boundaries. You’ll also gain insights into your own thoughts, feelings, and relationships, and into your own challenges with being assertive. This book empowers you, even when you feel powerless and undeserving. I truly wish it was required reading for all women and girls. It’s that important.”
—Margarita Tartakovsky, MS, writer and associate editor at www.psychcentral.com
“This informative, accessible guide goes beyond healthy communication techniques and delves into the psychology that drives our patterns of relating to others. With thorough information, relatable examples, and awareness exercises that personalize the experience, Julie de Azevedo Hanks provides readers with a highly applicable resource that can transform their relationships with others and with themselves. In a society that makes assertiveness challenging for many women, this book can be a life-changer.”
—Elizabeth Anne Scott, MS, author of 8 Keys to Stress Management
“The Assertiveness Guide for Women provides helpful exercises and tools that will help any woman find her authentic voice. Julie de Azevedo Hanks helps readers identify the barriers that get in the way of assertive communication, and then provides the action steps necessary for achieving healthy self-expression.”
—Amy Morin, LCSW, author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do
About the Author
Julie de Azevedo Hanks, PhD, LCSW, is passionate about helping women find their voice in their own lives, relationships, and in the world. She is a psychotherapist and licensed clinical social worker, author of The Burnout Cure, blogger, local and national media contributor, online influencer, consultant, award-winning performing songwriter, and founder and director of Wasatch Family Therapy. A native Californian, Hanks currently lives in Salt Lake City, UT, with her husband and their four children. For more information, visit www.drjuliehanks.com.
Foreword writer Riane Eisler, JD, is a systems scientist, cultural historian, author of The Chalice and the Blade and The Real Wealth of Nations, and coauthor of Transforming Interprofessional Partnerships. She has been a leader in the movement for peace, sustainability, and economic equity, and her pioneering work in human rights has expanded the focus of international organizations to include the rights of women and children. For more information, visit www.rianeeisler.com.
Most helpful customer reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Maybe I am just stupid, but the book seems to jump considerably in ...
By marry
Maybe I am just stupid, but the book seems to jump considerably in each chapter. For example one chapter goes from how we relate to our parents to integrating our emotions to gender messages. I tried extensively journaling while I was reading the book and the book still seemed to jump around. Plus, I am half way through the book and cannot determine if I have an avoidant attachment style or an anxious attachment style, because I seem to be equally both. This makes the book confusing. It is more like facts thrown at you to make you start and think than actual information to solve your problems. In other words, I was expecting it to be cheap therapy but it turned out to be just another book, leaving me with only more knowledge and little applicability.
8 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
Particularly good behavioral science
By tdrace
First, I am the type of reader who reads the one-star reviews first, so I would say I am a skeptical consumer. I'm a man by both identity and biology. I've read well over fifty behavioral science books; this one is particularly good, so much so that it's the only one for which I've decided to submit a review. Much of it is material found in many other works, but what makes this one stand out is the sheer pragmatism with which it was constructed. I believe this book is as close as it comes to being a one-stop source of guidance for how to improve relationships and one's own general wellbeing. It's just my opinion; draw your own conclusions. The book is marketed as being for women but it's absolutely 100% applicable for men, I might even boldly venture that men might get even more out of it. Anyway, big kudos on this one. My criticism is the same as I usually have for any such book, that being my belief that considering people come from so many walks of life and so many different circumstances that one cannot have too many different examples. Strongly biased toward American culture, but it's written by someone practicing in the United States, so take it as you will. The book is fairy short but dense.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Worth every cent
By Carrie Lynn Thatcher
Can a title alone empower you? I can't say for everyone but this one did for me. Due to a stolen credit card problem, I had to wait for my copy of the book. But just knowing I had ordered it gave me an enthusiasm about myself I didn't expect. I wouldn't say that I am unassertive in all areas of my life. I even imagine that people who know me don't think I have an issue in this department but I do. I am now half way through the book. Just reading the ideas Dr. Hanks puts together has helped me crawl out from under my dark sides. She references many clinicians whom I have read, Brene Brown, David Schnarch and others. Yet in the context that she applies their work I find fresh ideas for my life that I hadn't seen before. This is an amazing book. I am so glad I found it.
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